How can I tell someone my anxiety makes school and friends hard?

Dear girl 18 years old.

Thank you for sharing this, it sounds really heavy to carry around every day. I’ll try to answer gently and clearly. I am replying in english since you feel more comfortable with this language, hope that is okay for you.

What you describe - feeling hyper-aware of your body, worrying about how you walk, sit, or talk, losing motivation, feeling anxious around people, struggling to keep conversations — are very common signs of social anxiety and low self-esteem. It doesn’t mean there’s something “wrong” with you as a person; it means your brain is stuck in a loop of self-criticism and fear of judgment. When that happens, even normal everyday things start to feel exhausting and awkward.

It makes sense that you’re wondering “why am I like this?”. Often, things like stress, pressure at school, changes in friendships, or even just going through late teenage years (when identity and confidence shift a lot) can trigger it. For some people it can also be linked to depression or anxiety disorders, which are very real mental health conditions, not personal flaws.

Here are a few important things to keep in mind:

You’re not alone. Many people your age go through something similar, even if they don’t talk about it. It’s not permanent. Anxiety can get much better with support, practice, and sometimes professional help. You deserve help. Talking to a school counselor, doctor, or therapist could give you tools to manage these feelings and slowly rebuild confidence.

Practical tips you can start with:

Try to focus on small wins (like saying hi to someone, or sitting through lunch without escaping). These matter. Practice self-compassion — when your brain says “I look weird”, counter it with “I’m just being human, people aren’t watching me as closely as I think.” Journaling or voice-noting your feelings can help release the tension instead of keeping it all in your head. If school feels overwhelming, break tasks down into very small steps so it feels less impossible.

You asked “why am I like this?” - the real answer is: because you’re struggling with anxiety and self-confidence, not because you’re broken. With the right support, it can get better.

Here is a short, simple way you can explain what you’re going through if you decide to talk to a school nurse, counselor, or doctor. You don’t need to go into huge detail, just enough for them to understand how much this affects you:

“I feel anxious and uncomfortable with everything I do, and it’s affecting my school and social life. Can I talk to someone about it?”

The important part is just to start the conversation. You don’t need to have the perfect words , they’re trained to help you figure it out.

One more tip: If it feels too scary to say it out loud, you can even write it down on a note or your phone and show it to them.

I really hope this was helpful and I wish you all the best of luck.

Best regards, school nurse/helsesykepleier