How can a mother make a child feel protected without being violent.

Jente, 13

Hi, maybe I'm not 13 yet, but if I say that, I wouldn't be able to use this site, so maybe I'm 13. My mother has changed a lot since we arrived here in Norway 2 years ago, she is afraid to yell at me and discipline me and she doesn't treat me like she used to, she is treating me differently. She's afraid Barnevern will take me away from her, but I don't want him to treat me any differently, I felt more protected before. Is there any way to legally allow her to discipline me and yell at me? I don't like to be beaten, but I hate even more not having my mother with me, and this is not my mother, I want my mother back, I already told him that I would never report her, but she is still afraid, Not me I mind being beaten, whenever she hits me it's because I deserved it, I want everything to be as it was in England, I don't feel protected anymore, and it seems like she's not my mother, I can't take it anymore, it's torture, it's as if I had been without my mother for 2 years, with a bad copy.

Svar

Spørsmålet og svaret er mer enn ett år gammelt. Endringer i lovverk og regelverk kan ha skjedd etter den tid. Se spørsmål og svar som ligner for nyere spørsmål.

Hi.
I understand that you feel unsecure now that your mother has changed her motherhood. In Norway it is illegal to discipline children using violence/beating. So when you describe that your mother doesn't beat you anymore, I believe that your mother has changed her way of taking care of you so that it is legal.

But I understand that this change feels insecure for you. When a parent changes the way he or she behaves, it can be scary. My suggestion is that you try to talk to an adult that you trust about this. That adult could be a teacher, a family friend or maybe the school nurse/counseller. Maybe that adult person can help you to talk to your mother about how she can make you feel safe and loved again, still without violence. If you feel safe to talk to your mother about how you feel, you could also do that. There are places where your mother can get good guidance when it comes to her being a good and loving parent for you. Maybe that is what she needs for you to feel protected by her again.

Best regards Alarmtelefonen for barn og unge in corporation with ung.no

Besvart: 15.12.2021