My girlfriend just found out that her mom got cancer!

Hi,

Thank you for taking time to write to us.

I'm really sorry your girlfriend and you are going through this, what you're dealing with is heavy, especially at your age. You can't fix the situation, but you can be a huge source of strength and comfort.

Let her feel whatever she’s seeling: She might cry, be angry, shut down, or act totally normal some days. All of it is valid. Don’t try to “cheer her up” unless she wants that. nstead, say things like: “Whatever you're feeling right now is okay.” or “I’m here. You don’t have to go through this alone.” or “You don’t have to talk, but if you ever want to, I’ll listen.” Let her take the lead emotionally.

Be Present, Not Perfect: You don’t need the right words. Just being there is enough. Sit with her in silence. Text her to check in: “I’m thinking about you. I’m here if you need anything.” Don’t disappear even if it gets awkward or sad. Your consistency is comforting.

Do the Small Things: When someone is going through grief or fear, everyday life feels overwhelming. Small kindnesses matter: Remind her to eat or drink water. Offer to walk with her, watch a show, or just sit outside. If you're in school together, help her keep track of assignments or notes.

Respect Her Boundaries: Sometimes she might want space. That’s not about you, it’s about her trying to survive emotionally. You can say: “If you need time alone, I understand. I’ll still be here when you’re ready.” Don’t push her to talk or act “normal” too soon.

Be Honest About Your Own Feelings: You don’t have to pretend to be totally okay either. You can say: “I don’t know what to say, but I hate that you’re going through this.” or “I’m scared too, and I just want to be here for you.” That honesty builds trust.

Encourage Trusted Adults: This is way too big for just the two of you to carry. If she hasn't told another trusted adult (a teacher, school counselor, or other family member), encourage her gently: “You don’t have to do this alone. Maybe talking to someone else could help too?” And if you're worried about her safety, it's okay to talk to an adult yourself.

Take care of yourself too. Supporting someone through grief can drain you. You might feel helpless or overwhelmed. Don’t ignore your own feelings, talk to someone you trust if it gets too heavy.

With you the best.

Vennlig hilsen

helsesykepleier